the other day i randomly had a long chat with jeff wall.
he told me to basically stop being a pussy and keep making shit. he doesn’t like a lot of his own shit but at least he hunkered down and shat it out.
i guess that’s the best advice i could get at this point in my life.
this song immediately popped into my head.
or pooped in my head, i should say.
an exclusive raw unedited clip from “the acquaintance”
here you get to see an actual wave from the star, nicholas porteous, aswell as exclusive insight into my directing process.
trailer to be realesed soon.
three years ago i worked in some shitty coffee shop (i just realized that last sentence is pretty much my life story right now)
the place was open til 10pm and i did the closing shift. i liked the closing shift because the place was empty and i could slack off, blare music, write and watch old movies on the big screen tv.
every once in a while a customer would come in, buy a cookie and use our wifi for 3 fucking hours.
sometimes they’d sit in their own world and do whatever, sometimes they’d start talking to me and we’d have an in depth conversation about anything.
so this one night, a guy walks in. he was a big, muscly, half black and very official when he ordered food or asked a question.
he set up his laptop and did his work while i watched “philadelphia”
about a half hour into this, he looked up, pulled out his headphones and asked me about the movie. then the conversation about the movie turned into a conversation about a number of different things involving our lives.
we talked about what movies we liked, how he loves daft punk, how he’s from the states and blah blah blah. he then expressed how depressed he was that he’s in his late thirties and only now going to school to become a nurse. as awkward as the discussion became on my part, i tried to cheer him up about the situation.
he seemed to be a very uptight and sensitive man. he spoke in a quaint and serious tone, as though he completely lacked any character. it was hard to make him smile even in the slightest sense of amusement. yet, he still managed to keep the conversation interesting and it seemed as though he really just wanted to talk to someone.
it was then brought up in the topic of my upbringing that (even though it’s not something i like to bring up in conversations) my mom has cancer. as soon as i said that he immediately dropped his head to his computer at a loss for words.
“i’m sorry to hear that” he said
i tried to brush it off as though it wasn’t something to necessarily be bummed about by saying “ya’ know. life. whatever”
through that and a couple of other moments in our interaction, i noticed that anytime anything was serious, he would look to his computer as though he were concentrating.
and i began to talk about how (at the time) my mother was trying to open a facility at UBC for canadian soldiers returning from iraq who needed treatment for post traumatic stress disorder.
he then immediately lit up.
“well, actually, i fought in the gulf war some time ago.”
then all of his personality traits made sense to me.
i asked him about it and he told me that since he returned from the war, he dealt with serious anger issues which basically tore his life apart. he then expressed how he would really love to be apart of the facility, so i wrote his name, e mail and phone number to pass on to my mother.
at that point he seemed very hopeful. almost instantly.
i then started talking about how when she got the list of soldiers who were in critical PTS, the amount of people were staggering.
i then started going on a tangent about how the iraq war is the most fucked up war in western history, how fucked up it was that these young men are dumped in a desert and murking children on a whim of insanity.
i don’t know why i went on this tangent, it was something that went without saying, but i guess i got high on my opinions.
i noticed as i was talking, he was completely immersed in his laptop. as though he completely disengaged in the conversation.
i realized i totally shouldn’t have brought up how fucked up the war it is to a veteran who lived that shit. he was probably having flashbacks or some shit and reliving seeing his friend getting his head blown off because some snotty 19 year old stoner was shitting out his mouth about how “war sux”
i stopped talking all together and felt guilty.
“sorry” i said
“i shouldn’t be talking about this, i understand you must be pretty sensitive about this.”
he said nothing. just stared at his laptop blankly.
the conversation was over.
then i noticed something.
there was a shitty framed water color painting of an italian villa above his head.
on the glass of the shitty picture, i could see a reflection of his laptop screen.
it was a big white dude pounding a black chick’s ass.
it then switched to two girls sucking off a dude and then eating each other out.
i then looked at his face. completely in his own world.
i then realized how weird the situation was.
a 19 year old stoner watching a 38 year old gulf war veteran watch porn while tom hanks shows a court full of people his aids scars in the background in an empty cafe.
i slowly turned around and walked to the other end of the cafe and stared out the window.
he packed up his stuff and walked out the back door. he waved and gave me a forced smile.
“good luck with the nurse stuff”
“…yeah” he said.
the facility never panned out due to my mother having to leave her job because of the cancer and the government never went through with funding.
upon reflection of this situation, if they did go through with the PTS facility, their motto should reintroduce the famous slogan created by the british ministry of information during the second world war with this veteran’s method of coping with the brutality of war:
“KEEP CALM, WATCH SOME INTERRACIAL ORGIES AND CARRY ON”
my dad is my favorite person of all time. him and i have an amazing relationship, especially since i’ve gone through this dramatic shitty period in my life.
he’s a true man in every aspect: works hard as an accountant everyday, cooks dinner for his family, drinks a nice scotch, supports everything my sister and i have ever wanted to do, helped us in our times of need, held my mom’s hand throughout her illness, was the support in his family when he was ten and his father died, he never talked down to me or told me my dreams were unreachable, he built a cabin, he’s the most genuinely friendliest guy you’ll ever meet, in social situations he can have a room’s attention with a story without even trying, he never REALLY got mad at us and on top of all that, he knows everything about everything. for example, the other day he taught me about the zulu war as well as how to file for my own business with the government to get a better tax return. throughout all this, he never complained. he is the man i hope to become one day.
as a child i saw him to be invincible. he was brilliant and strong the strongest man who’s ever lived, as most children see their fathers.
until this one night when i was ten, i witnessed something that would stay with me for the rest of my life.
we went to white spot to pick up dinner.
the server handed us the bag of food and said “enjoy your dinner!”
my father said “yep, you too!”
we drove off.
we sat in silence for a few minutes until my father finally spoke up.
“you too?” he said
“what?” i said
“he said ‘enjoy your dinner’ and i said ‘you too’ that doesn’t make any sense”
“i guess not”
we sat in silence for the rest of the car ride.
that’s when i realized how human my father really was.
here’s the first and last album cover i will ever do only for one of my favorite punk bands The New Values http://thenewvalues.bandcamp.com/track/axe-on-your-doorstep
they are also a group of guys i consider no less than brothers to me.
this is the cover of their first album on vinyl which will be released in the coming months.
i drew this 12” cover by hand with a black pen, the only pen i ever use.
it was an honor being asked to create an image for a band you love.
keep an ear out for the soon to be released album.
also keep an eye out for some ~hidden images~ drawing.
right now i am developing a brand new short film i just finished writing called “THE ACQUAINTANCE”
a minimal, philosophical poetic comedy about something all of us struggle with everyday.
it will star my long time friend and favorite actor, Nicholas Porteous, http://youtu.be/kFyTaDS1ojQ.
we start shooting next weekend.
i’m actually legitimately excited about this project. it’s the first narrative film i’ve made in almost 5 years.
it will be released in the early summer.
a sequel to the miami sizzler: the frisco sizzler.
video by jeremy kantor
here’s the classic sizzler: http://youtu.be/Evv3cQW4qes